Casi siempre

I go home tomorrow. I have been working this weeks to arrange my ducks in the straightest row possible. Most of my room is packed up in brown cardboard boxes with too much packing tape. I always use too much tape. I'm afraid the bottom will fall out and all of my embarrassing momentos will fall out.

I went to campus today. It is so beautiful outside. I practiced my favorite musical contraption for awhile. I love how the piano soothes me. Music has such a great impact on people. It can inspire, comfort, excite, entertain... and so on. I always have a song for the state my mind is in... whether it's Taylor Swift's "Stay Beautiful," or Miley Cyrus' "Like is what you make it."

I bought a salad today. It was gross... but delicious. I bought it from the Village Pantry, so that is probably why it was wilted. I was craving some vegetables... something without pasta... something without preservatives... mmmm... iceberg lettuce. Almost no vitamins and nutrients... topped with a salad dressing full of artificial flavorings, sugar and preservatives. I guess I settled...

I don't believe in goodbyes. They seem so permanent. So final. It may be the end of a chapter, but it isn't the end of the book.

I think there is too much unhappiness in the world. I wish I could fix it... but I have no idea how to. All I can do is listen. Smile. Nod. Love. And now that I think about it, that is just fine. I mean after all, "What the world needs now..... is love, sweet love... love's the only thing that there' just too little of..."

Classes have ended. Finals are finished. Packing continues. Summer begins.

I am really glad that I am the same girl no matter where I am. I like that I do not have to change my language/ grammar, music or clothing when I am in different company. It makes life easier not to live a lie.

I had the nicest message sent to me today. I just love random messages that say something like, "Your smile brightens the room." Those messages make MY day bright. Sometimes the world isn't all bad.

On a different note... This semester was incredibly good and unbelievably bad. Maybe this fall will be a happy medium between the two of them? Rest assured I am happy as ever. I just wish I was able to get a little more stressed over classes. I took this anxiety test. Results: I have NO problem with high anxiety. In fact, I have the opposite. I don't have enough. This results in not attending class and not doing homework. I do not recommend this.

I have to admit. I bought Miley Cyrus' CD today. I bought it online. (Cheaper, even after shipping! And.. I don't have a car at the moment....) I should have it by Saturday. Tuesday at the latest. I am SO excited. I am pretty much in love with her song: See You Again.

I detest packing. I sat down and thought about how much moving/ packing I was going to have to do in the near future. This weekend: pack and unpack. 100 days later (Roughly August 20th) I will have to pack up the Jeep and unpack into my apartment. The end of December? Pack up the Jeep and unpack... while in Fort Wayne I will need to pack up ALL my stuff (Like all my mementos and things that I do not take with me from place to place) and put it into some sort of storage, because I won't be home at all for 18 months. Then, I will pack for a mission. Unpack at the MTC, assuming I go state-side, pack up again 3 weeks later... and then have the possibility to move every 6 weeks after that. I heard once: If you can't change something, change the way you think about it. Maybe I need to apply this idea to my situation.... *i love packing. I Love Packing. I LOVE PACKING!!!!!* Nope. Didn't work. I'll keep trying.

This summer should be good. On top of all the fun things I am doing (EFY counselor, Utah trip... etc) I have a to do list that me and the bests in FW are going to attempt to complete. Examples: hiking at Fox Island, photography in downtown Fort Wayne, watch all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls, 3 Rivers Junction Concerts and a camping trip. On top of that, I have my own to do list. I want to ACTUALLY do my "study" of churches. It will be easier in FW when I have a car. I have oodles of scrapbooking to do. I want to make a few videos so I don't forget all the good times I have had here at Purdue- especially this semester. I will also wear lots of sunscreen.

This summer I plan to spend as much time with my family as possible. I am going to hang out with my sister a lot. She's 13... or 14? YIKES! I'll figure it out later. We're going to go to the movies, go on picnics, play at the park, go to museums, go to the zoo and throw things at boys. I want to go to my little brothers (almost 10) baseball games and then take him out for ice cream. I want to spend time at the garden with my dad and siblings. I want to go on walks at night with my mom. I want to spend my afternoon with my grandparents. I want visit my great-grandma in the nursing home. I want to go on midnight Taco Bell runs with Bryce and McDonald's runs with Joe. I want my family to know how much I love and appreciate them.

I know one thing for sure -- this summer will be what I make of it. So bring on the shared bedroom with the sister... the occasional argument with mom... and the shared vehicle with my hippie brother. I am ready for an exciting 112 days of summer.