Learning Experience.

It's worth noting that my first title to this blog was "failure." But I decided to be more optimistic and turn my "failure" into a learning experience.

I had the "opportunity" teach a principle in a discussion with the missionaries. Before I dive into that, I would like to point out that in Mormon world talks are traditionally started out as, "I was blessed with the opportunity to speak to you today." It IS an opportunity. Good job. You snatched that opportunity. Opportunity. How many times can I say opportunity in one paragraph?

I am good at digressing.

My friend decided to start taking discussions with the missionaries again. Because I have been studying the necessary lessons I decided to step up to the plate and take a swing at this teaching business. Well, ladies and gentlemen-- it is hard.

I studied this ONE principle for about 10 hours. I read over the paragrapghs over and over. I made outlines, role played to my friends, talked it over in the shower.... etc. Then. When it came to the moments I was supposed to speak the few simple ideas of this principle, I stumbled over my words. I forgot key phrases. I could not remember the order of things.

This was very difficult for me. I want to BE A MISSIONARY. How can I be a missionary if I can't even teach a simple principle? I know I know. They will train me to teach. I will spend three weeks in a training center that will vigorously teach me skills I need. But-- what if I don't learn it? I don't think I can have many discussions and feel that LAME afterwards. I wanted to cry. But if I cried, that would make me appear weak.. and sister missionaries already have a bad enough rep as it is. [I know I am not a full-fledged sister missionary, but you get what I am saying.]

So. I am a little overwhelmed at the moment. Make that a lot. A lot overwhelmed. I am stressed. I want to cry. I want to quit.

I was told by a friend that many people experience a trial of faith before their mission. This very well may be my trial. Well, trials of faith are more precious than gold. We'll see about that.

I'm feeling a little skeptial.